🍋 Bear Market Has Entered the Chat

Blood on the Street, as the S&P 500 tumbled nearly 4% and crypto has imploded., If you need a drink after looking at your brokerage account today, Jack & Coke will now be available pre-mixed, in a can. Cirkul water bottles have gone TikTok viral and helped the company achieve unicorn status. Amazon's drone delivery system will be online soon for one small California community, almost 10 years after the company began working on the service.

🍋 Hopeless Home-antics

Millennials and Gen Z can’t afford homes. “McDonald's” in Russia opened to long lines. Summer blockbusters are back with "Jurassic World: Dominion" bringing in $143.3 million in its domestic opening, and "Top Gun: Maverick" adding another $50 million in its third weekend. National average gas price reached $5 per gallon for the first time ever. Goldman Sachs is being investigated over its ESG funds, as critics say ESG funds lack accountability

🍋 Inflation Outta Control

CPI drops today. Expect it to be HOT! Disney fired their TV content head Peter Rice, as the board is shaking things up while backing CEO Bob Chapek. The PGA Tour suspended 17 golfers that are participating in the controversial Saudi-funded LIV golf series. TikTok is adding more speed bumps to mindless scrolling. Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said the company is considering ending its open bathroom policy. (the backbone of the US bathroom industry)

🍋 Hedge Funds Private Problem

Private company valuation mark-downs are a problem for some hedge funds especially D1 Capital Partners. Spotify is planning a major push into the audiobooks space as CEO Daniel Ek laid out plans to reach $100 billion in revenue over the next decade. Wealth for the bottom half of households has soared, as they more than doubled their cash savings during the pandemic. US average gas price reached another record: $4.955/gallon, with some counties approaching the $8 mark. Also facing tough times due to shortages is Huy Fong Sriracha sauce.

🍋 Insiders: Working from Wherever

🍋 Private Equity Goes Retail

Private equity firms are going after slightly rich retail investors ($1-$5million). Starbucks' founder Howard Schultz established a $100 million fund targeted toward "diverse business as vehicles for fostering a more inclusive economy." Meanwhile, Wells Fargo is pausing their diversity rules, after a report came out that said staff held fake interviews with minority candidates. Janet Yellen said the US is currently staring down "unacceptable levels of inflation." (lmao OK I think we all knew that)

🍋 Re"Defy"ned Fast Food

JetBlue is hoping that persistence pays off and beefing up its offer to take over Spirit Airlines. They raised the break-up fee to shareholders, if regulators block the deal, to $350 million, or $3.20 a share. Restaurants are raising fees as well, to fight inflation. There's been a "service fee" or "temporary fee" added to bills at places like Macaroni Grill. UK is testing out the four-day work week for six months with 3,000 employees. Elon Musk is trying to get out of the Twitter deal and Taco Bell is innovating (what?) with their “DeFy” restaurants.

🍋 SPACession

🍋 $50 Million Fat Finger

Lululemon crushed Q1 earnings and raised 2022 guidance. Pandemic postponed weddings are hit by an inflation pandemic, costing guests as much as $20k. Tougher economic times might be here to stay according to Goldman President John Waldron: "This is among -- if not the most -- complex, dynamic environments I’ve ever seen in my career.” Some good news though, is that White House interns are being paid for the first time in recent history.

🍋 Musk Goes Full Karen

Sheryl Sandberg is gone, and "There's a storm comin' Harry"- Jamie Dimon. Elon Musk is going full Karen and asking all employees to spend a minimum of 40 hours per week in the office. Johnny Depp won his defamation case against his ex-wife, Amber Heard and the jury awarded him $15 million in damages. (while the nation lost $150 billion in productivity).

🍋 Insiders: Explain Crypto Like I'm 5

🍋 Jonas Bros Want to Text You

Taco Bell is running out of of Mexican Pizzas (supply chain issues duh). Janet Yellen admitted she was wrong on inflation. No companies or SPACs went public on US exchanges last week, the first week like this in over two years. Jonas Brothers are launching a new subscription media company called Scriber.