Good Morning! Databricks is raising $4B+ in Series L funding at a $134B valuation, up 34% from its last round. JPMorgan will let wealthy European clients borrow against luxury cars. Oil slid below $55 a barrel, a four-year low.

High-speed traders are feuding over shaving 3.2 billionths of a second. Apollo is weighing a $12B sale of Atlas Air. EQT discusses its humanoid robot rollout, and Carlyle is set to lose $100M+ on its loan to now-bankrupt iRobot.

Plus: “Vibe coding” startup Lovable valued at $6.6B. Goldman and BofA back the Texas Stock Exchange with $20M, global brands turn to private equity to salvage their Chinese businesses, and how to succeed as a late bloomer.

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SQUEEZ OF THE DAY

This Deal Is Ruining Christmas

The Warner Bros. Discovery saga took another turn yesterday afternoon, after reports broke that the company plans to urge shareholders to reject Paramount’s $108.4 billion hostile bid and back Netflix’s $83 billion deal. Jared Kushner’s Affinity Partners withdrew from the Paramount offer yesterday, but David Ellison is still insisting his funding remains intact.

One thing’s for certain though. No matter how this ends, Wall Street gets paid. Advisors on all sides are in line for massive fees and, privately, would not mind seeing the auction drag out a little longer.

If the bidding escalates, advisory and financing fees could easily climb into the hundreds of millions. The only downside is that some bankers may be working straight through the holidays.

“I’ve skipped Christmas Eve and New Year’s for far smaller transactions,” said Dwayne Safer, a former Stifel banker who is now a finance professor at Messiah University.

Another banker added: “When NBA players play on Christmas Day, no one says their holiday is ruined. They say, ‘Isn’t it great you’re in the NBA?’ For investment bankers, this is the equivalent. This is as good as it gets.”

Here are the banks involved:

• Warner Bros. Discovery is advised by Evercore, J.P. Morgan, and Allen & Company

• Netflix’s bid is being advised by Moelis, with Wells Fargo providing more than half of a $59B bridge loan alongside BNP Paribas and HSBC.

• Paramount is advised by Centerview, M. Klein & Co., Bank of America, and Citigroup, with financing from BofA, Citi, and Apollo.

• Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley are among the notable losers after advising Comcast on an unsuccessful competing bid for WBD.

Takeaway: This deal probably isn’t getting done anytime soon, RIP to the bankers putting in NBA-level performances this festive period. But if it does close, it could meaningfully reshuffle the league tables and deliver a massive windfall for the banks involved. And if Netflix ultimately wins, Moelis may cement its place as the elitest boutique.

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HEADLINES

Top Reads

• Databricks is raising funds at a $134 billion valuation (WSJ)

• JPMorgan will let its rich European clients borrow against their luxury cars (BB)

• Oil prices fall to 4-year low below $55 as supply glut shows up (YF)

• High-speed traders are feuding over a way to save 3.2 billionths of a second (WSJ)

• Vibe coding startup Lovable's latest funding round values it at $6.6 billion (CNBC)

• Apollo weighs potential $12 billion sale of Atlas Air (BB)

• Carlyle loses over $100 million on soured loan to Roomba maker (BB)

• Goldman, BofA push Texas stock exchange’s haul to $270 million (BB)

• Global brands seek private equity partners to save their China businesses (FT)

• Defense giants say investors should still bet on them, even as hopes for Russia-Ukraine deal sparks a selloff (CNBC) 

• Private equity giant EQT discusses its humanoid robot rollout (Axios)

• Wall Street is wary of stocks bearing the economy (Axios)

• AI is about to empty Madison Avenue (WSJ)

• US bank lending to competitors surged 26% this year, Fitch says (BB)

• CLO managers bet big on buyout revival to lift profits in 2026 (BB)

• JPMorgan executive urges Europe to move faster on reforms (BB)

• Amateur prop traders chase elusive profits in simulated markets (BB)

• Startup backed by Altman, JPMorgan announces partnership with Amazon (CNBC)

• Here’s a new angle on private equity’s volatility laundering (FT)

CAPITAL PULSE

Markets Rundown

Market Update

• Stocks mixed as investors digested delayed labor data; the Nasdaq edged higher on strength in technology and consumer discretionary, while the Dow lagged amid declines in health care and energy.

• Payrolls rose 64K in November, above expectations, but the unemployment rate climbed to 4.6%, the highest since October 2021.

• Global markets were softer overnight, with Asia and Europe lower; oil fell >2% on renewed Russia-Ukraine peace hopes.

• Treasury yields slipped, with the 10-year around 4.15%.

Economic Data Highlights

• Retail sales (Oct.) were flat headline, but control-group sales jumped 0.85%, beating estimates and pointing to resilient consumer demand.

• Labor market shows cooling, not distress: job gains modest, unemployment higher largely due to labor-force expansion.

• Inflation ahead: November CPI due Thursday, with headline and core expected at 3.1% YoY; October CPI will not be released due to the shutdown.

Earnings Today

• GIS – Watch pricing power and volume trends in packaged foods.

• JBL – Focus on electronics manufacturing demand and margins.

• MU – Key read on memory pricing, AI-related demand, and inventory normalization.

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Circle Internet Group ($CRCL) +10% after Visa announced that transactions can be settled with Circle’s stablecoin.

• (+) IONQ, Inc. ($IONQ) +8% because Jefferies initiated coverage on the quantum stock with a buy.

• (–) Frontier Group ($ULCC) -11% after the airline’s CEO announced he will depart.

Prediction Markets

• There’s only a 1% chance we get a Christmas bonus from the government.

• Trade on real-world events with Kalshi. Use code OWS to get a $10 bonus when you trade $10.

Private Dealmaking

• Databricks, a data analytics software, is raising $4 billion 

• Holcim, a global building materials company, acquired a majority stake in Cementos Pacasmayo, a building materials producer, for $1.5 billion

• Carlyle, a private equity firm, acquired Hogy Medical, a maker of surgical kits, for $1 billion

• Cvent, an event management software company owned by Blackstone, acquired Goldcast, a video content platform, for $300 million

• Chai Discovery, a developer of AI-designed molecules, raised $130 million

• Last Energy, a developer of micro-nuclear reactors, raised $100 million

For more PE, VC & M&A deals, subscribe to our Buysiders newsletter.

BOOK OF THE DAY

Magnetic

Description: A refreshing take on manifestation that blends neuroscience, psychology, and practical habits into a grounded path for shaping your life. Livezey strips away the fluff of vision boards and affirmations, focusing instead on identity, belief systems, and behavior shifts that make goals not just wished for — but lived. It’s part mindset guide, part actionable playbook for becoming the person who naturally attracts the life you want.

Book Length: 304 pages
Release Date: 2025

Ideal For: Self-improvers, creators, entrepreneurs, and anyone curious about turning inner beliefs into outer results.

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US Demographics Are Changing

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DAILY ACUMEN

Speed

Mark Zuckerberg's original motto for Facebook was "Move fast and break things." Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, famously said, "If you're not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you've launched too late."

Amazon's Jeff Bezos makes reversible decisions quickly, reserving slow deliberation only for irreversible ones.

The world's most successful people understand something counterintuitive: speed is often more valuable than perfection. Perfectionism isn't about high standards, it's about fear wearing a disguise.

Every day you wait to start is a day you're not learning, not iterating, not improving. The first draft of anything is garbage - E.B. White knew it, Hemingway knew it, every successful creator knows it.

But you can't edit a blank page. Ship it. Launch it. Start it messy and improve it later. Speed creates momentum, generates feedback, and builds confidence.

What are you overthinking that you could just do today? Remember, done is better than perfect, and perfect is the enemy of done. Action, even imperfect action, beats perfect planning every single time.

ENLIGHTENMENT

Short Squeez Picks

• How to be successful as a late bloomer

• The benefits of lemon water

• 7 conversation habits of naturally likable people

• Money boundaries and mental health

• How to effectively level up your leadership

MEME-A-PALOOZA

Memes of the Day

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