Good Morning! LVMH-backed private equity firm L Catterton is launching a $500mn fund with athletes including Kevin Durant, Joe Burrow, and Livvy Dunne. Trump says the US is weighing a Spirit Airlines purchase. And Citadel is threatening to halt its NYC expansion after Mamdani called out Ken Griffin's $238M penthouse, with Griffin's deputy calling the targeting "shameful."

Microsoft is offering its first-ever voluntary retirement buyout for US employees whose age and years of service add up to 70 or more. And Meta is laying off 10% of its workforce, roughly 8,000 employees, in an AI push.

Plus: 8 of Blackstone's top 10 Q1 investments were data-center related, BCG says AI drove 25% of 2025 revenue, and Goldman wants to claw back $20M+ from former banker Tim Leissner.

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SQUEEZ OF THE DAY

Swap Your House for Anthropic

The latest AI trade is not happening through a venture fund, a secondary platform; it is apparently happening via mansion swap.

Storm Duncan, founder of tech-focused investment bank Ignatious and a former global head of technology M&A at Jefferies, is trying to trade his 14-acre Mill Valley estate for shares of Anthropic. The house is a 4,400-square-foot, four-bedroom compound in the hills north of the Golden Gate Bridge, with an infinity pool, sweeping views of San Francisco Bay, and an estimated value around $8 million. Duncan is offering to cover closing costs for any Anthropic shareholder willing to do the deal.

The timing makes it unhinged. Anthropic reportedly crossed a $1 trillion valuation in secondary markets this week, surpassing OpenAI and turning into the hottest private stock on earth. Anthropic is hovering around $1 trillion on Forge Global, with some offers implying valuations as high as $1.15 trillion. Three months ago, the company was valued at $380 billion. 

That is where Duncan’s pitch starts to make sense. He already owns Anthropic shares from a 2024 funding round and says he knows the management team through prior work. But getting more stock is apparently hard enough that he is willing to trade one of the most valuable things a normal rich person owns: Bay Area real estate.

The proposed structure lets a seller retain 20% of upside value before shares transfer, and Duncan argues buying directly from an individual offers more transparency than chasing shares through secondary markets.

The details only make it better. Duncan's estate has apparently hosted blockbuster parties with up to 700 guests, from celebs to real estate moguls to tech power players. He noted that if the house had "blown up during one of those parties, it would have been a problem for the tech world."

He now splits time between Miami and Wyoming while a “very famous” VC allegedly rents the Mill Valley place. So the asset being offered for Anthropic stock is, essentially, a VC networking compound with a waterfall pool and a LinkedIn listing. 

Takeaway: AI mania has officially moved past spreadsheets. When a former Jefferies banker trades an $8M mansion for shares of a company flirting with a $1T valuation, we're in the "will swap real estate for Claude exposure" phase of the bubble. Maybe Duncan looks like a genius in five years. But this is about as subtle as a SoftBank pitch deck in 2021.

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HEADLINES

Top Reads

• Private equity firm L Catterton launches fund with top athletes (FT)

• Trump says he is thinking about the US buying Spirit Airlines (BB)

• Ken Griffin's Citadel claps back at Mamdani's viral penthouse video (NYP)

• Microsoft plans first-ever voluntary employee buyout for up to 7% of U.S. workforce (CNBC)

• Meta to cut 10% of staff as it pours billions into AI (CNN)

• Blackstone's Gray cites AI build-out as biggest driver for firm (BB)

• Boston Consulting Group says AI work brought 25% of 2025 revenue (BB)

• Goldman Sachs says ex-star banker Leissner is hiding its money (BB)

• Anthropic looks to hire six-figure role for negotiating data center deals to fuel Europe AI expansion (CNBC)

• Kevin Warsh's wealth shows how top family office employees can cash in (CNBC)

• SoftBank seeks $10 billion loan backed by OpenAI shares (Yahoo Finance)

• JPMorgan readies fresh private credit push after needling market (BB)

• Sergey Brin's family office takes over brain-focused VC fund (BB)

• Starbucks loyalty changes are drawing value-conscious customers (CNBC)

• Blackstone sees best year ever for its IPOs as earnings beat (BB)

CAPITAL PULSE

Markets Rundown

Market Update

• Stocks pulled back slightly after recent all-time highs, with the Nasdaq lagging

• The move felt more like a pause than a reversal following a strong rally

• Year-to-date, markets remain solidly positive, with leadership shifting beneath the surface

• Cyclical sectors like energy, materials, and industrials continue to outperform

• The broader tone reflects stabilizing rates, resilient earnings, and easing worst-case fears

Ceasefire Holding, But Not Fully Resolved

• The extended ceasefire continues to reduce immediate downside risk

• Energy markets still show underlying stress despite improving sentiment

• Oil remains elevated, but expectations point to eventual normalization

• Markets are pricing this as a temporary disruption, not a lasting shock

• The key variable remains how quickly supply chains fully recover

What Happens After a Fast Rebound

• The sharp rally back to highs suggests markets have repriced quickly

• Historically, these fast recoveries often lead to a pause or consolidation phase

• Not all V-shaped rebounds sustain momentum. Some transition into sideways markets

• The next leg likely depends on earnings follow-through and oil stabilization

• Markets are shifting from relief rally → digestion phase

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Texas Instruments ($EBAY) +19% after crushing Q1 estimates with 90% year-over-year growth in data center revenue.

• (+) Penn Entertainment ($EBAY) +17% because the gambling company beat Q1 estimates with interactive segment losses narrowing 88% year-over-year.

• (–) Blackstone ($BX) -6% after flat returns in private credit and losses in its portfolio.

  Prediction Markets

• Markets will be up only with a deal, right?

• Trade on real-world events with Kalshi. Use code OWS to get a $10 bonus when you trade $10.

Private Dealmaking

• Tortugas Neuroscience, a neurology-focused biotech, raised $106 million

• Cloudsmith, a software component protection platform, raised $72 million

• Omni, an AI analytics company, raised $69 million

• Orkes, an AI deployment startup, raised $60 million

• Courier Health, a patient experience management company, raised $50 million​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

• Resolve AI, an agentic AI startup that fixes software, raised $40 million​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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ENLIGHTENMENT

Short Squeez Picks

• Why your bench press isn’t improving

• How to manage difficult directors

• Why your next career move might be a demotion

• The best cold brew makers

• How being nice at work can hurt your career

MEME-A-PALOOZA

Memes of the Day

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