Good morning! The 30-year Treasury yield hit 5.19%, its highest since before the financial crisis. JPMorgan exec Lorna Hajdini is suing ex-banker Chirayu Rana for defamation over "sex slave" allegations. And Google unveiled its biggest Search update in 25 years, including AI agents.

Zohran Mamdani met with Jamie Dimon and David Solomon. Blue Owl co-founder Doug Ostrover is selling his Washington Commanders stake. A former Citadel quant raised $78 million for an AI fintech startup.

Plus: SpaceX's IPO is set to make hedge fund Darsana Capital Partners $10 billion next month, and mint millionaires in Brownsville, the little Texas border town that hosts its launches. And 5 signs you're doing work that doesn't matter.

Gemini 3.5 Flash has set the mark to beat in financial benchmarking. Stay ahead of each upgrade with custom deployments from Endex. Request access today.

SQUEEZ OF THE DAY

PE Sports Rollups in Trouble

Private equity has spent the last decade rolling up dental offices, vet clinics, car washes, and most recently, kids' travel sports leagues, think youth hockey clubs and the rinks they play in, competitive cheerleading competitions and the apparel that goes with them, club volleyball, and travel tournaments.

Now a group of Congressional Democrats has introduced the Let Kids Play Act, which would ban private equity from investing in youth sports.

The bill would bar PE from leagues, facilities, tournaments, and sports tech platforms. Existing holdings would need to be divested within two years. Firms would also have to reimburse parents for certain "junk fees," eliminate related debts, and could face personal liability for violations.

It makes sense why PE is the target. Youth sports have become brutally expensive, with costs up 46% since 2019, and Wall Street is the easy villain. Supporters argue PE makes it worse by rolling up the entire stack: teams, leagues, tournaments, rinks, apparel, hotels, even registration software. Suddenly your kid doesn't just play hockey, your family has entered a vertically integrated margin-expansion opportunity (and you're the margin).

The other side has a case too. Youth sports are fragmented, inefficient, and often badly run. Better-capitalized operators can upgrade facilities, professionalize coaching, and centralize operations to spread overhead, in theory lowering costs and expanding access.

The bill's odds are unclear. Democrats would need Republican support, which is rarely easy to get on PE ban legislation. Even if it passed, sponsors could restructure around it. The deals keep happening in the meantime.

Takeaway: Youth sports check every box of a textbook PE roll-up: fragmented ownership, recurring payments, captive customers with high willingness to pay, and vertical integration across teams, facilities, apparel, and software. The political backlash is the predictable second act. The bill likely stalls, but the risk premium on youth sports deals just went up. Turns out the only thing more competitive than U-12 travel hockey is the LP base behind it.

PRESENTED BY ENDEX

Gemini 3.5 Flash Release Shifts Finance AI Model Race

Yesterday, Google announced Gemini 3.5 Flash outscoring GPT 5.5 and Opus 4.7 in financial benchmarking, while being half the cost.

In the past four weeks alone, Anthropic, Google, and OpenAI have each taken the top spot on finance benchmarks. Finance teams are responding by building on infrastructure that swaps models as the frontier moves.

Endex is the Excel-native AI agent built for finance teams that are leveraging agents as a competitive advantage. Their custom deployments are compressing hours of analyst work to minutes, using the best-performing foundation model for each workflow.

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HEADLINES

Top Reads

• JPMorgan exec Lorna Hajdini sues ex-banker Chirayu Rana for defamation over ‘sex slave’ allegations (NYP)

• 30-year Treasury yield tops 5.19%, highest since before the financial crisis (CNBC)

• Google unveils biggest update to search in 25 years, including AI agents (Yahoo Finance)

• Dimon, Solomon to meet with Mamdani as mayor pushes higher taxes (BB)

• Blue Owl co-founder Ostrover selling NFL Commanders stake to Josh Harris group (BB)

• Private equity investor lists his Miami Beach compound for $110 million (WSJ)

• The little-known hedge fund that stands to make over $10 billion on SpaceX (WSJ)

• Former Citadel quants raise $78 million for AI fintech Moment (BB)

• SpaceX's IPO to mint millionaires in poor Texas border town (BB)

• Trump traded over $50 million in 'Magnificent 7' stocks last quarter, loading up on Apple and Google and selling Tesla (Yahoo Finance)

• Distressed debt deals often end in hard default, Moody's warns (BB)

• Partnership for NYC CEO on Mayor Mamdani's meeting with bank CEOs, NYS pied-à-terre tax (CNBC)

• Anthropic's co-founder to launch encyclical on AI with Pope Leo (BB)

• Trump says it's not a war — insurers with money on the line say it is (CNBC)

• As AI hiring slows, skilled trade workers are in high demand (CNBC)

• OpenAI co-founder Andrej Karpathy joins Anthropic (Axios)

• Goldman Sachs, Moelis say business as usual amid Iran conflict (BB)

CAPITAL PULSE

Markets Rundown

Market Update

• U.S. equity markets closed lower as rising Treasury yields pressured sentiment following the market’s sharp rally since March lows

• Overseas, Asian markets finished mixed overnight, while European equities closed little changed

• Home Depot reported first-quarter earnings and sales in line with expectations and reaffirmed full-year guidance

• Treasury yields continued moving higher, with the 10-year Treasury yield near 4.66% and the 2-year yield around 4.11%

• WTI crude oil held near $104 per barrel as geopolitical tensions surrounding Iran remained unresolved

“Sell in May” Historically Underperforms Staying Invested

• While the “Sell in May and go away” strategy has historically coincided with weaker summer returns, long-term data still favors remaining invested

• Since 1980:

  • The S&P 500 averaged 8.4% returns from November through April

  • The May through October period still averaged positive returns of 4.6%

• A fully invested strategy since 1980 would have significantly outperformed rotating into cash during summer months

• The broader takeaway remains that long-term discipline has historically produced stronger results than seasonal market timing

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Astera Labs  ($ALAB) +13% after the company's CEO and CFO presented at JPMorgan’s Global TMC Conference.

• (+) Shake Shack ($SHAK) +7% because insider buying from CEO Robert Lynch and founder Daniel Meyer (~$2.3M combined).

• (–) Warby Parker ($WRBY) -11% after launching its first Intelligent Eyewear collection in partnership with Google and Samsung.

Prediction Markets

• Earnings Call Special (after markets close): Nvidia

• Trade on real-world events with Kalshi. Use code OWS to get a $10 bonus when you trade $10.

Private Dealmaking

• Decart, a real-time generative AI research lab, raised $300 million

• Rapido, an Indian ride-hail company, raised $240 million

• Destinus, a Dutch drone and missile developer, is in talks to raise around $215 million

• Full-Life Technologies, a Chinese radiotherapeutics startup, raised $110 million

• Nourish, a metabolic health startup, raised $100 million

• Viktor, an AI coworker that lives in Slack and Microsoft Teams, raised $75 million

For more PE, VC & M&A deals, subscribe to our Buysiders newsletter.

BOOK OF THE DAY

Why Nothing Changes

Description:
A systems-based approach to personal transformation from Daniel Newman that argues most people fail to change not because of weak discipline, but because invisible environmental, biological, and psychological forces are working against them. Instead of relying on motivation or willpower, the book focuses on designing systems, habits, and environments that make change easier and more sustainable. It blends behavioral science with practical frameworks to help readers identify the hidden patterns keeping them stuck and build lasting momentum.

Book Length: 304 pages
Release Date: March 29, 2026

Ideal For:
Anyone struggling to make lasting changes in habits, health, productivity, or mindset who wants a more scientific and systems-driven approach to personal growth.

Lasting change happens when you stop fighting yourself and start redesigning the systems shaping your behavior.

DAILY VISUAL

Peak Time

PRESENTED BY FRE

For When That Late Night Wall Hits

Bloomberg reported last year that nicotine pouches have quietly become the performance-enhancing tool of choice in finance, described by one source as “ubiquitous with juniors in the industry.”

Researchers have studied nicotine’s effects on attention and reaction time for decades, and the office-worker set has caught on.

For analysts and bankers running on four hours of sleep and a 40-slide deck still left to build, FRE offers a tobacco-free pouch in five strengths up to 15mg.

Give FRE a try today.

DAILY ACUMEN

Two Lists

Warren Buffett tells a story about asking his pilot to list the twenty-five things he wanted to accomplish in his life. Then he asked him to circle the top five. The pilot assumed the other twenty were a secondary priority list to work on between the big ones. Buffett told him no. Those twenty were the avoid-at-all-costs list, because they were exactly the things seductive enough to pull him away from the five that actually mattered.

This is the trap almost nobody sees. The threats to your most important goals are not your obvious failures or your laziness. They are your second-tier ambitions, the things that are genuinely good and worth doing, just not for you, just not now. They are the most expensive form of distraction because they look like progress.

What you say no to defines what you become far more than what you say yes to.

ENLIGHTENMENT

Short Squeez Picks

• 5 signs you’re doing work that doesn’t matter

• The key to a healthy mind

• The greatest entrepreneurs in U.S. history

• How science can create a more consistent cup of coffee

• How great leaders avoid becoming the bottleneck

MEME-A-PALOOZA

Memes of the Day

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