Good Morning! The “bankers” behind the viral Interview Magazine article could face discipline or termination for the unauthorized interview. Berkshire Hathaway has resumed buybacks, with new CEO Greg Abel pledging his entire $15M pay package into Berkshire stock. Oracle is preparing thousands of job cuts as AI spending pressures mount.

JPMorgan's Manhattan expansion has hit a snag at the Roosevelt Hotel, which the Pakistani government wants to demolish for a high-rise. Oaktree's Howard Marks sees no systemic risk in private credit, and Morgan Stanley's top tech banker warns it's "wartime" for software companies.

Plus: OpenAI's Sam Altman takes shots at Anthropic, argues governments should be more powerful than tech firms, and natural ways to boost your energy.

The best AI models are those built by the fellas in the trenches. Get access to Endex, the tool trained by investment bankers.

SQUEEZ OF THE DAY

Palantir's Zyn Vending Machines

Some tech companies offer kombucha on tap, but at Palantir, nicotine is the latest perk. The defense-tech firm has reportedly begun stocking nicotine pouches in vending machines and office fridges, including in its Washington, D.C. office, where brands like Lucy and Sesh are available to employees and guests over 21.

Palantir is hoping the discreet stimulant sharpens focus for engineers and analysts grinding through long workdays.

The move fits Palantir’s reputation as one of Silicon Valley’s more eccentric companies. The firm has long cultivated a culture that leans unapologetically intense and mission-driven, and hires engineers to work on government intelligence platforms, defense software, and AI infrastructure.

In that environment, long hours and deep concentration are part of the job description, and the company has never been particularly shy about leaning into unconventional workplace norms.

A Palantir exec (Eliano A. Younes, head of strategic engagement) even posted a photo of a Lucy-branded vending machine inside the D.C. office on X with the caption “Palantir DC Office 🤝 @LucyNicotine.”

The pouches deliver a dose of nicotine without the cigarettes that once fueled earlier eras of high-pressure finance and tech. In many ways, it’s Silicon Valley’s biohacking culture colliding with the old nicotine productivity trick. Nicotine pouches slot neatly into that mindset: micro-dose a stimulant, sharpen focus, and ship code faster.

Still, doctors warn that the products carry familiar risks. While nicotine pouches avoid many of the carcinogens associated with smoking, they still deliver an addictive stimulant whose long-term health effects remain unclear.

Takeaway: At Palantir, building the next generation of AI and defense software has turned productivity into a competitive advantage, and even the office perks reflect the intensity of that mission. Palantir has always been unapologetic about its culture, so while the move is flashy, it may not be a surprise to some supporters.

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Investment Bankers Are Training AI Models As Latest Exit Opportunity

Ex-bankers are now training Endex, an AI Excel agent custom-built for finance professionals. They’re teaching Endex’s models how Wall Street actually builds DCFs and LBOs.

Firms are leveraging AI tools as a path to streamline tasks that used to take bankers hours.

Frontier AI labs project significant improvements in Excel capabilities after the next year.

Readers can request access to Endex or apply to join.

HEADLINES

Top Reads

• Baby-faced Goldman Sachs bankers could be fired over ‘unauthorized’ magazine photo shoots (NYP)

• Berkshire Hathaway begins repurchasing shares, CEO Greg Abel buys $15 million in stock (CNBC)

• Oracle plans thousands of job cuts in face of AI cash crunch (YF)

• Pakistan thwarts JPMorgan’s efforts to buy historic New York hotel (FT)

• Oaktree's Howard Marks says there's no systemic problem with private credit (CNBC)

• Morgan Stanley’s top tech banker: It’s ‘wartime, not peacetime’ for software (CNBC)

• OpenAI's Altman takes jabs at Anthropic, says government should be more powerful than companies (CNBC)

• U.S. crude oil tops $80 per barrel as escalating Iran war disrupts global fuel supplies (CNBC)

• Anthropic officially told by DOD that it’s a supply chain risk even as Claude used in Iran (CNBC)

• Wealthy Dubai residents race back to UAE to avoid tax bills (FT)

• BlackRock slashed private loan value from 100 to zero (BB)

• Blackstone taps private credit to fund Champions Group buyout (BB)

• Hiring AI experts boosts bonds, stock performance, Barclays says (BB)

• SRT sales hit record pace as banks expand use to hedge risks (BB)

• JPMorgan’s 3,500-person leveraged finance event jolted by war reality check (BB)

CAPITAL PULSE

Markets Rundown

Market Update

• U.S. equities closed lower as rising oil prices pressured sentiment

• Weakness led by consumer staples and materials, sectors sensitive to higher input costs

• Asian markets rebounded overnight, while European equities declined

• U.S. dollar strengthened as investors sought safety in the reserve currency

• WTI crude briefly topped $80 per barrel, the highest level since 2024

• Disruptions continue in the Strait of Hormuz, through which roughly 20% of global oil and LNG supply flows

Economic Data Highlights

• Initial jobless claims held steady at 213,000, slightly below expectations

• Continuing claims rose modestly to 1.87 million, suggesting some workers are taking longer to find jobs

• February nonfarm payrolls are due today; expectations call for ~60,000 job gains

• Unemployment rate expected to remain at 4.3%

• Current data point to a stabilizing labor market, with slower hiring but limited layoffs

Fixed Income Trends

• Treasury yields rose for the fourth straight day, with the 10-year reaching 4.14%

• Rising yields reflect higher inflation expectations, partly driven by climbing energy prices

• Markets now expect the next Fed rate cut in September, with a second cut potentially pushed into 2027

• The Fed’s preferred PCE inflation measure currently stands near 2.9%

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Expedia ($EXPE) +14% because OpenAI is scaling back its direct checkout ambitions within ChatGPT.

• (+) Okta ($OKTA) +11% after the access management company beat Q4 estimates.

• (–) Victoria’s Secret ($VSCO) -12% after the retailer announced a lower outlook due to tariffs.

Prediction Markets

• When will the AI domino begin to fall?

• Trade on real-world events with Kalshi. Use code OWS to get a $10 bonus when you trade $10.

Private Dealmaking

• Sierra Space, a defense-tech space company, raised $550 million

• Vast, a developer of low-orbit space stations, raised $500 million

• Rift, a developer of iron fuel technology, raised about $133 million

• Starface, a maker of pimple patches, raised $105 million

• Oxa, a self-driving technology company, raised $103 million

• Eight Sleep, a maker of smart sleep products, raised $50 million

For more PE, VC & M&A deals, subscribe to our Buysiders newsletter.

BOOK OF THE DAY

Recession

Description: A clear and historically grounded examination of why recessions occur and why many conventional explanations miss the mark. Economist Tyler Beck Goodspeed explores the structural forces that cause economies to contract, drawing on historical case studies and modern macroeconomic analysis to show how policy mistakes, financial fragility, and market distortions interact. The book also outlines practical policy approaches for reducing the severity and duration of downturns.

Book Length: 320 pages
Release Date: March 31, 2026

Ideal For: Economists, investors, policymakers, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of economic downturns and how governments and markets respond to them.

Recessions are rarely random shocks. They often emerge from identifiable structural weaknesses that, if understood early, can be mitigated before they spiral into deeper crises.

DAILY VISUAL

The Golden Arches are Winning

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It’s the difference between financing lifestyle at consumer rates and structuring liquidity the way allocators do.

When the right opportunity (or indulgence) comes along, your portfolio doesn’t have to take the hit.

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DAILY ACUMEN

Timelines

Measuring your chapter three against someone else's chapter twelve is one of the most reliable ways to feel behind in a race you were never actually running.

What you're seeing when you look at someone else's success is the highlight reel of an outcome, not the years of failure, self-doubt, and grinding invisibility that preceded it. Context doesn't travel well at a distance.

Run your own timeline. The only useful comparison is between who you are today and who you were a year ago.

ENLIGHTENMENT

Short Squeez Picks

• Natural ways to get the energy you crave

• How to feel more connected to others

• 4 signs that remote work isn’t for you

• 5 signs that you might have a protein deficiency

• Why clarity might be the most underrated leadership advantage

MEME-A-PALOOZA

Memes of the Day

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