"I wish somebody would have told me to be nicer.” — Mark Cuban
Good Morning! Princeton’s endowment got rekt, and in the latest move in the elite university arms race, they poached an MIT money manager to lead their $34.1 billion fund. WeWork officially filed for bankruptcy late last night. Private credit giants like Apollo and Ares are butting heads and facing limits on who they can buy from. Fortune 500 companies say consumer demand is weakening this quarter. OpenAI dropped its powerful GPT-4 Turbo update and ChatGPT hit 100 million weekly users, only a year after launch.
SQUEEZ OF THE DAY
Goldman VP Gets 3-Year Sentence
The only things certain on Wall Street are death, taxes, and Goldman VPs hooking their buddies up with insider information.
Brijesh Goel got caught red-handed passing secrets along to his squash buddy and graduate school friend, Akshay Niranjan, a trader at Barclays. Goel and Niranjan agreed to split the profits from their trading.
Between 2017 and 2018, Goel tipped Niranjan on at least six deals in which Goldman Sachs was involved, yielding total ~$280k.
Goel, 39, was sentenced to 3-years in prison, and will also have to pay a $75k fine and forfeit $85k, his cut of the illicit profits. Goldman is also seeking $393k from Goel for legal expenses.
The details of Goel and Niranjan’s close relationship, including drug use and music festivals, heightened the drama of the trial, where Niranjan was the prosecution’s star witness against his ex-friend. In one of the matches, Goel apparently came to the squat courts straight from a bar after having a few drinks.
Takeaway: There’s definitely some drama between the two squash buddies. Niranjan cooperated with the Feds, and recorded conversations where Goel asked him to delete texts regarding the stock tips. But Goel claims this was all part of a setup. Regardless of what really went down - be careful what you tell your buddies during a match of drunk squash.
Stocks closed higher and notched longest winning streak since January.
(+) Constellation Energy ($CEG) +7% after raising its earnings guidance for the year.
(–) Paramount ($PARA) -8% after a double downgrade by Bank of America.
(–) Dish Networks ($DISH) -37% after missing on both top and bottom lines.
Bain Capital will pay $5.3 billion for Guidehouse, a consultancy firm
Hilton Grand bought Bluegreen Vacations for $1.5 billion
Aleph Alpha, a German AI startup, raised $500 million
Travelers bought Corvus, a commercial insurance products provider, for $435 million
Abridge, a clinical documentation platform, raised $30 million
Agnikul, a small-lift launch vehicles developer, raised $26.7 million
SPONSORED BY INCOGNI
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Sullivan Tire sells itself to employees, dodging private equity consolidators (Axios)
OpenAI announces more powerful GPT-4 Turbo (CNBC)
Wall Street is sometimes right to be wrong (YF)
How one firm wants to disrupt the traditional private equity model (Inc)
Citi considers deep job cuts for ‘Project Bora Bora’ (CNBC)
Tech startups try to sell a skeptical Pentagon on AI (NYT)
Apple is a bank rather than a technology company (Fox)
Audax countersues rival private equity firm H.I.G. Capital (Axios)
Bumble founder and CEO to step down (CNBC)
Stocks just had their best week of the year (Axios)
BOOK OF THE DAY
The Negativity Fast
In The Negativity Fast, sales leader and strategist Anthony Iannarino delivers an exciting and effective new take on creating and sustaining powerful sales processes.
You’ll learn to lead with positivity as you harness negative emotions to make lasting changes for the better and explore the power of gratitude to transform your mental outlook.
Discover how to reframe the negative events of your life into the ways they made you stronger and prepared you for future setbacks. The author also offers:
· Concrete advice on perspective-taking and strategies for avoiding being triggered by people with different beliefs.
· A thirteen-week Negativity Fast, in which you’ll eliminate sources of negativity for 90 days and introduce positivity into your mental diet
· Discussions of the necessity for optimism in a difficult world
An inspiring and exciting take on leadership, The Negativity Fast walks you through how to cultivate a positive attitude and perspective you can pass on to the people who follow you.
“Learn to transform your perspective and lead with positivity.”
Short Squeez Picks
3 ways to get better at small talk
Why you’re probably terrible at asking for advice
18 stock picks and key metrics to watch for each
Inside the private world rich New Yorkers built for themselves
5 key money lessons you can learn from Ray Dalio
Cost of Attending an NBA Game, 2023
Includes 4 tickets (cheapest available), four hot dogs, two 16 oz. beers, two 20 oz. sodas and a parking spot
SPONSORED BY ECKARD
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Remember that Stanford marshmallow study? Kids faced a choice: one marshmallow now or two in 15 minutes. Some resisted, some didn't. Fast forward 40 years, and the resistors ruled. They aced life. But let's be real, as a kid, I'd have inhaled that marshmallow pronto.
Delaying gratification? It's a fine wine, gets better with age. Can today's youth master it amidst TikTok and Netflix binges? Most world problems stem from impatience—Madoff, Epstein, Theranos, you name it.
Our modern Achilles' heel? Instant gratification, courtesy of tech and efficiency cravings. No more carpool line waits, it's Uber and instant shows. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman says we make dumb choices by overvaluing what we don't have.
Life's a rollercoaster, teaching patience. But can today's youth handle it? Can they delay gratification in an instant-reward world? It's a race against time to hold out for that second marshmallow.
Memes of the Day