🍋 FDIC's Toxic Party Culture

How a boring regulator got exposed for being a bunch of degenerates, plus quant easing coming soon.

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"Don't manage by the numbers. Managing by the numbers is sort of like cooking by the recipe — it doesn't guarantee success." — Jamie Dimon


Good Morning! UBS strategists feel bullish on rate cuts - they see a total of 275 basis points of easing (starting in March). But the rest of Wall Street is divided over just how aggressive the Fed’s cutting will be. 

Goldman isn't the only major Wall Street bank struggling in 2023 - Morgan Stanley is also hurting with disappointing investment banking earnings, investor concerns, and regulatory headaches.

A new report found that 100% of buyers now shop for homes online. And an FTX employee recruited by SBF is suing to get the rest of his 2022 bonus for $275k.

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FDIC’s Toxic Party Culture

Why does it always seem like it’s the most boring companies/agencies that are filled with the most degenerates?

Enter the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. The agency insures and regulates America’s top banks. Yesterday, a whistleblower complaint broke revealing that the agency’s employees have been playing real-life Wolf of Wall Street.

It’s a male-dominated agency, and they apparently love going to strip clubs and drinking until they black out. 

The FDIC has a hotel outside Washington where employees stay during training and it turns out, it’s rowdy every single night. Employees routinely puke in elevators and urinate off the roof after nights of heavy drinking. One Instagram account asked “If you haven’t puked off the roof, were you ever really [an employee at FDIC]?”

Now a number of female employees have had enough and are alleging misogyny and harassment. One employee says she was followed to her hotel room, received lewd photographs, and was even invited to a strip club by her boss.

Drinking on the job sounds pretty common, too. Many women say they were passed over for top assignments - and then penalized in performance reviews for not having led any top assignments.

Takeaway: Any time you see FDIC in the headlines - you know trouble is brewing. It either means two things: 1) a bank failed or 2) its employees are absolutely wylin’. But it goes to show - you never really know how bad a company’s culture can be, and it just takes one person to speak up.


Markets Rundown

Stocks took a pause ahead of key inflation data.

Movers & Shakers

  • (+) Boeing ($BA) +4% after Emirates placed a $52 billion order.

  • (+) Tesla ($TSLA) +4% because of updates to the Cybertruck policy (owners can’t sell during 1st year).

  • (–) Celsius ($CELH) -6% even after an upgrade by Jefferies.

Private Dealmaking

  • Ajinomoto bought Forge Biologics, a gene therapy startup, for $620 million

  • Divergent Technologies, a manufacturing software company, raised $230 million

  • Volvo Group bought the battery unit of Proterra for $210 million

  • Foresight Ventures bought The Block, a crypto media company, for $60 million

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Top Reads

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  • Senators propose China disclosure rule for private equity (Axios)



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Short Squeez Picks


Projected GDP Growth Rate

2023-2024 projected

Source: Axios


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