Good Morning! UBS strategists feel bullish on rate cuts - they see a total of 275 basis points of easing (starting in March). But the rest of Wall Street is divided over just how aggressive the Fed’s cutting will be. 

Goldman isn't the only major Wall Street bank struggling in 2023 - Morgan Stanley is also hurting with disappointing investment banking earnings, investor concerns, and regulatory headaches.

A new report found that 100% of buyers now shop for homes online. And an FTX employee recruited by SBF is suing to get the rest of his 2022 bonus for $275k.

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_{SQUEEZ OF THE DAY}

FDIC’s Toxic Party Culture

Why does it always seem like it’s the most boring companies/agencies that are filled with the most degenerates?

Enter the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. The agency insures and regulates America’s top banks. Yesterday, a whistleblower complaint broke revealing that the agency’s employees have been playing real-life Wolf of Wall Street.

It’s a male-dominated agency, and they apparently love going to strip clubs and drinking until they black out. 

The FDIC has a hotel outside Washington where employees stay during training and it turns out, it’s rowdy every single night. Employees routinely puke in elevators and urinate off the roof after nights of heavy drinking. One Instagram account asked “If you haven’t puked off the roof, were you ever really [an employee at FDIC]?”

Now a number of female employees have had enough and are alleging misogyny and harassment. One employee says she was followed to her hotel room, received lewd photographs, and was even invited to a strip club by her boss.

Drinking on the job sounds pretty common, too. Many women say they were passed over for top assignments - and then penalized in performance reviews for not having led any top assignments.

Takeaway: Any time you see FDIC in the headlines - you know trouble is brewing. It either means two things: 1) a bank failed or 2) its employees are absolutely wylin’. But it goes to show - you never really know how bad a company’s culture can be, and it just takes one person to speak up.

_{CAPITAL PULSE}

Markets Rundown

Stocks took a pause ahead of key inflation data.

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Boeing ($BA) +4% after Emirates placed a $52 billion order.

• (+) Tesla ($TSLA) +4% because of updates to the Cybertruck policy (owners can’t sell during 1st year).

• (–) Celsius ($CELH) -6% even after an upgrade by Jefferies.

Private Dealmaking

• Ajinomoto bought Forge Biologics, a gene therapy startup, for $620 million

• Divergent Technologies, a manufacturing software company, raised $230 million

• Volvo Group bought the battery unit of Proterra for $210 million

• Foresight Ventures bought The Block, a crypto media company, for $60 million

• Otovo, a solar and battery storage marketplace, raised $49 million

• Spark Car Wash, a tech-enabled car wash operator, raised $30 million

For more PE & VC deals, subscribe to Buysiders.

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_HEADLINES

Top Reads

• Should your ex-boss have a say in your new job? Wall Street thinks so (NYT)

• California startup diversity law might touch private equity, growth investors (WSJ)

• Goldman says investors are too worried about profit outlook (BB)

• Moody’s warning on U.S. debt burden has turned into a nonevent (CNBC)

• $2.5 trillion of private equity dry powder visualized (VC)

• Tesla’s drive-in restaurant is finally taking shape (Axios)

• Goldman forecasts higher returns on commodities (Reuters)

• Pfizer enters the weight loss drug market (CNBC)

• Why stocks can dodge a bear market in 2024 (WSJ)

• Senators propose China disclosure rule for private equity (Axios)

_{BOOK OF THE DAY}

Untouchable

How does he get away with it? That question, more than any other, vexes observers of and participants in the American criminal justice process. How do powerful people weaponize their wealth, political power, and fame to beat the system? And how can prosecutors fight back?

In Untouchable, Elie Honig exposes how the rich and powerful use the system to their own benefit, revealing how notorious figures like Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, and Bill Cosby successfully eluded justice for decades.

He makes clear how countless CEOs and titans of Wall Street have been let off the hook, receiving financial penalties without suffering criminal consequences. This doesn’t happen by accident.

In this vital, incisive book, Honig explains how the system allows the powerful to become untouchable, takes us inside their heads, and offers solutions for making the system more honest and fairer, ensuring true justice for all—holding everyone, no matter their status, accountable for their criminal misdeeds.

“Written with all the color and pacing of a legal thriller.”

_{ENLIGHTENMENT}

Short Squeez Picks

• 9 reminders for everyone

• Why great leaders serve their teams

• The most attractive cities to start a new job

• 3 strategies to build healthy working relationships

• The secret to success might be building a longer runway

_{DAILY VISUAL}

Projected GDP Growth Rate

2023-2024 projected

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_{DAILY ACUMEN}

5-Minute To-Do List

Here's a nifty productivity hack for you: create a 5-Minute To-Do List. This mini-list should live on your desk and exclusively feature tasks that can be completed in 5 minutes or less. It's like having a pocket-sized productivity booster for those short breaks or transition periods between bigger projects.

The concept is simple, yet surprisingly effective. This list is a constant reminder of small actions that contribute to your sense of accomplishment and larger goal progress. But it's not just about the satisfaction of ticking off tasks; it offers some practical benefits:

First, it helps clear mental space. The mental load of remembering small tasks can weigh you down and hamper your focus. Clearing them quickly makes room for more significant cognitive efforts. 

Second, it builds momentum. Completing a few quick tasks can serve as a warm-up for tackling more complex projects, creating a sense of accomplishment that propels you forward.

Third, it optimizes transition moments. Those in-between times are often wasted, but spending them on your 5-Minute To-Do List can make your day feel more productive without adding stress.

However, a word of caution: this list is a supplement, not a replacement for your primary task management system. Don't get caught up in doing only small tasks—prioritizing important ones is still key. After all, quality beats quantity.

In conclusion, the 5-Minute To-Do List is a handy tool to make the most of short, free moments without losing sight of your bigger goals.

It complements your main task management strategy and helps you tackle those nagging little things that always seem to pile up. So, keep your focus on the main game, but keep this little helper nearby for those moments of transition.

_{JOB BOARD}

Featured Jobs

• Blackstone - Associate, Structured Finance - New York, NY

• Daily Harvest - Director, Strategic Finance - New York, NY

• Plaid - Director, Strategic Finance - New York, NY

_{MEME-A-PALOOZA}

Memes of the Day