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🍋 Dimon's Not Dancing in the Streets

Why private equity firms love stricter banking rules, plus funding secured for Kim Kardashian, and bearish hedge funds got rekt.

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“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” — Steven Wright

 

Good Morning! You might have thought Powell’s tightening crusade was a thing of the past, but Fed governor Christopher Waller says he still expects two more interest rate hikes this year. And that’s music to big banks’ ears - banks started reporting earnings on Friday and the country’s biggest lender, JPMorgan reported a record $41.3 billion last quarter.

Hedge funds are rushing to unload bearish stock positions as the equity market continues to rise. And Goldman sold $1 billion of Marcus loans to investment firm Varde as it completes its consumer banking exit. And even Kim Kardashian is benefitting from a bullish month on Wall Street - investment firm Wellington wants to invest in Kim's clothing company Skims at a $4 billion valuation.

If you’d like to invest in proprietary investment opportunities alongside us, please fill out this investment form. If you are in the market to sell your business, fill out this form.

SQUEEZ OF THE DAY

Dimon's Dilemma

You gotta be feeling pretty great if you're a hedge fund, private equity, or private credit firm - at least according to JPMorgan’s CEO Jamie Dimon. Regulators are trying to impose higher capital requirements for banks, and Dimon isn’t a fan. And amidst the banking turmoil, Dimon said on Friday that big-time private equity firms like Apollo and Blackstone are "dancing in the streets."

The megafund private equity firms used to be some of JPMorgan's largest clients. And now? They're still huge strategic partners for Dimon & Co, but they're increasingly becoming big banks' biggest competitors too. They’re not subject to the same financial regulations. Large acquisitions and massive loans are increasingly funded by alternative asset managers, and Dimon’s worried that even more of his bank’s business could be snapped up by these so-called shadow banks.

And now, Dimon is feeling a little salty toward some of his private equity rivals. He wrote in his recent letter to shareholders that he thinks there should be more requirements on shadow banks.

But while Dimon says private equity firms are dancing in the street, JPMorgan has its own reasons to dance - the bank reported record revenue last quarter thanks to the Fed's rate hikes and the First Republic deal.

Takeaway: Dimon hasn’t said the quiet part out loud, but there’s definitely some beef brewing between investment banks and private equity firms. These firms are competing for the same deals, but banks are starting to complain that it’s not a level playing field. Private equity firms love tougher banking rules, but Dimon’s starting to sound the alarm that stricter rules could let the Apollo’s and Blackstone’s of the world steal JPMorgan’s business.

CAPITAL PULSE

Markets Rundown

Stocks closed slightly lower after banks reported earnings.

Movers & Shakers

  • (+) United Health ($UNH) +7% after topping expectations on both the top and bottom lines.

  • (–) Citi Group ($C) -4% even after an earnings beat, drop in trading revenue.

  • (–) State Street ($STT) -12% after the firm says it must pay more to depositors.

Private Dealmaking

  • Roviant in talks to sell stomach drug to Roche for over $7 billion

  • Eli Lilly bought obesity drug Versanis for $1.93 billion

  • HawkEye 360, a mapping and analytics company, raised $58 million

  • Secure Code Warrior, a cybersecurity platform, raised $50 million

  • Savvy, a SaaS security startup, raised $30 million

  • Embrace, a mobile experience development platform, raised $20 million

SPONSORED BY RYSE

Last Chance to Invest in the Company that Won over the Dragons

The pioneer in smart-doorbell technology, RING, pitched their business on the hit show Shark Tank at a valuation of just $7 million - the sharks shut them down.

5 years later, the company sold to Amazon for more than $1 Billion, turning the 10% stake initially offered to the sharks from $700K to $100M!

A similar story is brewing up in the Smart Shades segment of the industry. A company called RYSE pitched on the Canadian version of Shark Tank called Dragon’s Den.

The difference? They received two offers and have an addressable market that could be significantly larger than that of RING’s.

The hallmark of all successful smart home products is their ability to launch into retail, and RYSE’s recent deal with Best Buy has put them miles ahead of the competition.

HEADLINES

Top Reads

  • Johns Hopkins economist says inflation is history for the U.S. (CNBC)

  • The era of tech layoffs is evolving in an interesting way (TC)

  • Americans haven’t felt this good about the economy in 2 years (YF)

  • How the Fed Now program could change the banking industry (Axios)

  • Robinhood’s new retirement accounts put spin on YOLO investing (WSJ)

  • The Nasdaq-100 index is getting a makeover (CNN)

  • How the actors strike will affect your favorite shows and movies (CNN)

  • Bank results reveal stark divide as industry recovers from turmoil (YF)

  • Does Gen-X have no style? (WSJ)

  • Leerink Partners returns to its Boston roots (Biz)

BOOK OF THE DAY

How I Invest My Money

In this unprecedented collection, 25 financial experts share how they navigate markets with their own capital. In this honest rendering of how they invest, save, spend, give, and borrow, this group of portfolio managers, financial advisors, venture capitalists and other experts detail the 'how' and the 'why' of their investments.

They share stories about their childhood, their families, the struggles they face and the aspirations they hold. Sometimes raw, always revealing, these stories detail the indelible relationship between our money and our values.

Taken as a whole, these essays powerfully demonstrate that there is no single 'right' way to save, spend, and invest. We see a kaleidoscope of perspectives on stocks, bonds, real assets, funds, charity, and other means of achieving the life one desires.

With engaging illustrations throughout by Carl Richards, How I Invest My Money inspires readers to think creatively about their financial decisions and how money figures in the broader quest for a contented life.

“How often do experts pull back the curtain and tell us how they actually invest their own money? Never.”

ENLIGHTENMENT

Short Squeez Picks

  • Is being a great manager a coachable skill?

  • Why Warren Buffett’s weird calendar habit is so effective

  • Why pickleball is the best sport for longevity

  • Google Tasks is finally kind of good

  • Use a mind map to increase productivity

DAILY VISUAL

DQ Dominates the Ice-Cream Map

Most common ice-cream chains by county

Source: Axios

DAILY ACUMEN

The Two Wolves

A grandfather told his grandson about a battle inside all of us.

It's a battle between two wolves.

One is Evil – anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, ego.

The other is Good – joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, truth.

The boy asked, "Which wolf wins?"

The grandfather replied, "The one you feed."

MEME-A-PALOOZA

Memes of the Day

 

 

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