Good Morning! Wall Street’s heavy hitters like Dalio, Ackman, and Dimon are all-in on betting on bonds and chaos. It’s all thanks to a combination of spiraling debt and global instability. And Blackstone’s CEO is taking shots at remote workers - saying they just don’t have that same grind or dog in them.

Goldman’s CEO is playing the long game and is optimistic about a return of M&A deals - he’s just not sure about them right now. And LBO equity contributions crossed the 50% threshold - money is expensive and funds are ponying up more of their own cash.

Google's Q3 results tell us that online ads are back after months of recession concerns. And Meta got sued by 40+ states yesterday for violating children's privacy laws.

We are giving away 25 signed copies of Zeke Faux’s new book on the SBF saga - “Number Go Up” (the more accurate take of events compared to Michael Lewis’s recent book). The next 25 Short Squeez Insiders members will get the free book.

_{SQUEEZ OF THE DAY}

Bonds and Chaos

It’s hard to scroll through cringy personal finance TikTokers without hearing about the 60-40 investment strategy.

Financial gurus used to preach the strategy like gospel, claiming it was the surefire way for regular folks to invest.

The idea was simple: when stocks were soaring, you'd rake in the cash. And when the market crashed, bonds were there to cushion the blow.

Stocks usually take a nosedive when the economy slumps. Unemployment skyrockets, people stop spending money, and companies post dwindling profits. On the other hand, bonds are supposed to rise, and the Federal Reserve usually plays the hero by slashing interest rates during a recession, driving up the prices of older bonds, and lowering their yields.

But it’s looking like that time is gone. The classic 60-40 portfolio has done a faceplant. Last year was its worst performance ever, losing 17%. It had a 14% rebound this year, thanks to the S&P 500 rallying. But lately, stocks and bonds have been moving in sync.

These days, the Fed has been cranking up those interest rates, pushing bond yields higher and higher. And while stocks and bonds used to move in opposite directions, they’re both plummeting in 2023.

Takeaway: If you're clinging to the old-school 60-40 strategy, you might want to think twice. Some investors suggest getting a bit more creative with your stock and bond selections. That could mean swapping out bonds for money-market funds, or maybe even tossing in some international stocks or shares from smaller companies.

_{CAPITAL PULSE}

Markets Rundown

Stocks closed higher as more earnings roll in.

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Spotify ($SPOT) +10% after finally turning a profit in Q3.

• (+) DraftKings ($DKNG) +4% after an upgrade by MoffettNathanson.

• (–) TransUnion ($TRU) -23% after posting weak Q3 earnings.

Private Dealmaking

• Fortive bought EA Elektro-Automatik for $1.45 billion

• Gallagher bought Cadence Bank’s insurance brokerage for $904 million

• Aiolos Bio, an asthma treatment biotech, raised $245 million

• Qosmosys, a lunar lander tech developer, raised $100 million

• Adlumin, a detection and response platform, raised $70 million 

• MangoBoost, a data center performance startup, raised $55 million

Get access to private deal flow here.

_{SPONSORED BY CAPLINKED}

Open a CapLinked Enterprise Plan & Win a Supercar for the Weekend

The world of M&A is all gas, no breaks.

That’s why CapLinked’s data room is fine-tuned to close deals fast, and to prove it, they’re putting the pedal to the metal with their latest offer:

Now until the end of October, every new Enterprise Plan comes with keys to a sports car of your dreams for the weekend.*

What makes CapLinked’s Enterprise Data Rooms the choice of dealmakers in the fast lane?

• Cutting-edge activity tracking provides the insights you need to craft personalized, hyper-efficient follow-ups with targets

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• Turbocharged upload speeds & 99.9 Uptime SLA (no speed limits here)

Open an Enterprise Plan today and win a supercar today.

_HEADLINES

Top Reads

• World’s largest sovereign wealth fund lost $34 billion in Q3 (CNBC)

• Nobody wants mutual funds anymore (BB)

• Jamie Dimon rips central banks for being 100% dead wrong on economic forecasts (CNBC)

• Alphabet beat Q3 earnings but cloud business falls short (YF)

• Goldman collects $4 billion for infrastructure deals (WSJ)

• Microsoft profit pops 27% as Azure growth accelerates (CNBC)

• Snap shares jump more than 11% after earnings beat (YF)

• Big banks had strong Q3 - but what about regional ones? (CNN)

• Top Citi industrials banker joined Jeffries (Reuters)

• London scraps banker bonus rule in bid to lure New York talent (WSJ)

_{BOOK OF THE DAY}

Your Future Self

We've all had the desire to travel through time and see what our lives will be like later in life. But while we want the best possible future for ourselves, we often fail to make decisions that would truly make that version of the future a reality:

- Why do we choose steak over vegetables at dinner, waving off concerns about high cholesterol?

- Why do we splurge on luxury cars rather than save for retirement?

- Why can’t we stick to our exercise programs?

- Why are so many of us so disconnected from our future selves?

Based on over a decade of groundbreaking research, Your Future Self is the “entertaining and powerful book” (Carol Dweck, author of Mindset) that explains that in our minds, our future selves often look like strangers.

Many of us view the future as incredibly distant, making us more likely to opt for immediate gratification that disregards our health and well-being in the years to come. People who are able to connect with their future selves, however, are better able to balance living for today and planning for tomorrow.

Your Future Self describes the mental mistakes we make in thinking about the future and gives us practical advice for imagining our best future so we can make that vision a reality.

“Set your future self up for success with the “fascinating, profound, and immediately practical guide to shaping your life to come.”

_{ENLIGHTENMENT}

Short Squeez Picks

• John Oliver did an episode on McKinsey

• How to navigate confidence and self-doubt after a promotion

• 5 ways to deal with passive-aggressive behavior at work

• How to spot unnecessary drama at work

• Your leadership effectiveness hinges on emotional intelligence

_{DAILY VISUAL}

US Average Gas Price

_{GET YOUR FREE BOOK}

What Actually Happened with SBF

Get ready for the upcoming festivities with an exciting gift from us.

We're giving away 25 signed copies of Zeke Faux's new book, "Number Go Up," offering a more accurate version of SBF events compared to Michael Lewis's very lenient take in his recent book, “Going Infinite.”

What's Inside:

Based on exclusive reporting that takes Faux from Manhattan to the Bahamas, this is the definitive story of the crypto boom and bust. It is also very, very funny.

To quote Money Stuff columnist Matt Levine, "the funniest financial journalist in America takes on the funniest story in modern finance."

Faux parties on the yachts of overnight billionaires at the pinnacle of the frenzy, and, once the bubble bursts, he talks his way into SBF's Bahamas hideout for an 11-hour interview as the authorities close in. And a spam text message leads him to Cambodia where he investigates a crypto-fueled human-trafficking ring!

How to Claim Your FREE Book:

The next 25 Short Squeez Insiders members will receive a complimentary copy of "Number Go Up." Don't miss this opportunity to explore the captivating world of crypto and the untold stories of SBF.

Get your FREE book now by joining Insiders here.

_{DAILY ACUMEN}

Relationships

Navigating relationships can be as tricky as deciphering IKEA instructions. Values play a crucial role. They’re like tattoos; they're permanent.

So, before diving into the love boat, understand your values. Prioritize your top five—they're your VIP pass to your identity club. Make sure your values show up in your daily life.

Lastly, discuss values with your partner, especially on key topics like parenting, religious faith, and financial frugality.

Aligning values in a relationship is like having an instruction manual for your love life—it prevents wobbly coffee table relationships.

_{MEME-A-PALOOZA}

Memes of the Day