Good Morning! Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac surged after Bill Ackman called them "stupidly cheap" with 10x potential if privatized (Ackman owns ~10% of both). The US is paving the way for private assets to be included in 401(k). And boutique wealth managers are now helping clients evacuate the Middle East.

Four of the largest private credit funds, including Ares Capital Corp. and Blackstone Private Credit Fund, have more software exposure than their filings let on. A former Deutsche Bank manager sued the bank for $624 million over the Banca Monte dei Paschi scandal. And PE is requiring lenders to sign NDAs on side deals.

Plus: Nasdaq is fast-tracking SpaceX and other large IPOs for index entry, SpaceX is in talks with E*Trade to lead retail IPO sales in a move that could cut out Robinhood and SoFi, and how working in America became so joyless.

Want to know what others make on Wall Street? See comp, culture, and health metrics on Wall Street 360. Get access here.

SQUEEZ OF THE DAY

Blackstone Going After Mini-Millionaires

Blackstone already manages roughly $1.3 trillion, mostly for institutional investors like sovereign wealth funds, pension plans, insurers, and endowments. But the next great land grab in asset management is the affluent individual with a few million dollars in a brokerage account, like the doctor, lawyer, founder, or executive who is rich enough to want hedge fund exposure, but not plugged into the same ecosystem as Yale’s endowment.

Yesterday Blackstone launched BXHF, a diversified hedge fund investing across credit, equities, and special situations like spinoffs and event-driven trades.

Roughly 30% goes to outside hedge funds, giving clients access to managers Blackstone uses in its institutional portfolios. The minimum is $5 million. Fees are 1.25% management and 12.5% of profits above a 5% hurdle, cheaper than 2-and-20, but still layered.

The push into private wealth hasn't been frictionless. Its real estate vehicle faced redemption pressure when markets got shaky, and BCRED recently posted its first monthly loss in over three years. Blackstone has tripled private wealth assets to $300 billion in five years, but semi-liquid wrappers only look elegant when markets are calm.

Takeaway: The next alternatives boom will be built on the mini-millionaire, affluent enough to qualify, but not enough for bespoke access. BXHF isn't just a hedge fund launch. It's another step in turning elite alternatives into a mass-affluent product. The question is whether buyers are ready for what hedge fund volatility actually feels like.

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HEADLINES

Top Reads

• Bill Ackman says it's one of the best times in a long time to buy quality stocks (CNBC)

• Department of Labor proposes rules for including alternative assets in 401(k)s (CNBC)

• Need to be extracted from the Middle East? Call your wealth manager (FT)

• Private credit's exposure to the ailing software industry is bigger than advertised (WSJ)

• Ex-Deutsche Bank manager sues bank for at least $624 million (BB)

• Private equity requires lenders to sign NDAs in brutal side deals (BB)

• Nasdaq clears way for SpaceX, big IPOs to gain fast index entry (BB)

• E*Trade in talks to lead SpaceX IPO share sale to small investors in U.S. (CNBC)

• How working in America became so joyless (WSJ)

• As gas prices approach $4 a gallon, Americans rethink vacations (NYT)

• Japan is placing a multibillion-dollar bet on the US housing market (WSJ)

• Investors balk at terms in JPMorgan's $7.2 billion Sealed Air debt deal (BB)

• Goldman traders see signs hedge funds are capitulating on stocks (BB)

• Asia budget airlines risk losing price advantage as fuel costs surge and Middle East routes go dark (CNBC)

• Powell sees inflation outlook in check, no need to hike rates because of oil shock (CNBC)

• Get free ice cream at Chick-fil-A if you do unusual family-friendly activity (NYP)

• Quantum technology firms race to market as the industry sees 'inflection point' (CNBC)

• Fed chair Powell sees no threat of private credit contagion, says interest rates are in a 'good place' (YF)

• Distressed-debt funds target private credit downturn as ‘greatest opportunity’ since 2008 (FT) 

CAPITAL PULSE

Markets Rundown

Market Update

• Stocks gave back early gains to finish lower as energy prices continued to climb

• Technology and industrials led the downside, weighing on broader indexes

• U.S. dollar strengthened, reflecting a continued flight to stability

• Global markets were mixed, with Asia weaker and Europe more resilient

• Overall tone remains tied to oil, geopolitics, and shifting rate expectations

Energy Watch

• WTI crude pushed above $100, reaching its highest level since 2022

• Supply disruptions in the Strait of Hormuz remain the key driver

• Despite higher prices, producers are holding back on new drilling, signaling caution

• Futures markets suggest this may still be a temporary shock, with prices expected to moderate over time

Rates and Policy Outlook

• Bond yields pulled back slightly after recent highs

• The recent rise in yields has been driven largely by inflation concerns tied to oil

• Markets continue to push out expectations for Fed rate cuts, pointing to a slower easing cycle

• The Fed still appears on a path toward cuts, but timing is shifting later as uncertainty persists

Movers & Shakers

• (+) Fannie Mae ($FNMA) +51% after hedge fund billionaire Bill Ackman publicly called the company stupidly cheap.

• (+) Palo Alto Networks ($PANW) +5% because CEO Nikesh Arora disclosed a $10 million open-market stock purchase, the largest insider buy analysts had seen in years.

• (–) Boston Scientific ($BSX) -9% after trial results for its flagship WATCHMAN device showed mixed data at the American College of Cardiology conference.

Prediction Markets

• The Costco hot dog is an icon for stability and purchasing power.

• Trade on real-world events with Kalshi. Use code OWS to get a $10 bonus when you trade $10.

Private Dealmaking

• Sysco will acquire Jetro Restaurant Depot from the Kirsh family for $29.1 billion

• Sycamore Labs, an AI agent operating system company, raised $65 million

• Rocketlane, a customer onboarding and project delivery platform, raised $60 million

• Doss, an inventory management software provider, raised $55 million

• Steadi, a health-care transactions clearinghouse, raised $50 million

• Zocks, an AI platform for financial advisors, raised $45 million

For more PE, VC & M&A deals, subscribe to our Buysiders newsletter.

BOOK OF THE DAY

Beyond Belief

Description:
A practical, research-driven guide from Nir Eyal and Julie Li on how to identify and dismantle the internal beliefs that quietly cap your potential. The book blends psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral design to show how limiting narratives are formed and, more importantly, how to rewrite them. Instead of relying on motivation, it offers systems to reframe identity, build confidence through evidence, and consistently operate at a higher level.

Book Length:304 pages
Release Date: March 10, 2026

Ideal For:
Anyone looking to break through plateaus, upgrade their mindset, and build systems that support sustained personal and professional growth

The biggest limits in your life are not external they are the beliefs you’ve accepted as truth.

DAILY VISUAL

Stock Prices and Earnings Estimates are Diverging Wildly

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DAILY ACUMEN

Scar Tissue

Every person walking around with unresolved pain has built a set of invisible rules designed to make sure they never feel that way again. Avoid this kind of person. Never trust that kind of situation. Always keep this much distance.

The rules feel like wisdom because they came from real experience, but they are often just fear that has learned to dress itself up as discernment.

The problem is that the rules don't expire. They were written during the worst moment of a specific chapter and then quietly applied to every chapter that followed, long after the original threat stopped being relevant.

Most people are not living in the present. They are living in a heavily fortified version of it, built to protect against a past that is never coming back.

ENLIGHTENMENT

Short Squeez Picks

• How 1M+ investors start their day

• How exercise boosts your mood

• Success at work may depend on your partner’s personality

• How to stop people pleasing at work

• What Earth’s longest-lived animals can teach us about aging better

• Why Gen-Z feels alone in their struggles

MEME-A-PALOOZA

Memes of the Day

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